childish guilt

Saturday, May 16, 2009

When my youngest son Bobie was just 4 year old of age he used to play at our backyard alone.One hot afternoon he caught a frog and put it upsidedown inside the hole that he dug and sealed it with coconut shell and rock.At that night when the dinner was finished everybody prepared for bed,because they have a class on next day.during midnight the boy cannot sleep well,it seems that there is something that bothered in his mind and I was so worried about him,I asked him if he’s not feeling well,but he shook his head,until I asked him for second time, but he just keep on silence.10 min or more passedby he asked me…he said;Nanay(mom),if somebody burried me alive i will die?and I answered to him;ofcourse you will die!and he ask again;I can’t breath?I replied;yup!I’m become hungry?he ask again yup!I answered.he keep on asking until he asked again,and he said;How about the frog? I wondered why he asked like those question to me and I asked him,why?did you killed a frog?my son replied;no!i just put the frog upsidedown inside the hole that i dug this afternoon… I understood why he cannot slept during that night.I asked my oldest son to go with his youngest brother to save the frog.we go outside of our house and he find the place where he burried the frog and i just watched them while he ran and to find last he found the great relieve and overflowing joy he hold my hand and look up in my eyes…with smile he said;the frog is still alive!

Sometimes we suffered from guilts and our consience(Shakespears called it,the thorn of the flesh) keep on remind us of what we did and we kept it in our heart and mind for long time…sometimes we ashamed and afraid to share it even to our family and friend.But,you know God is able to forgive us, his arms is open to accept our fault and weaknesses and give us rest and relieve from heavy loads of guilts and consequences of what we did…God loves you…

He is here right now . 14 years after, he still remember what he did before. And he learned a lot from it.